


My best friend

by Captain_Susanne



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-03
Updated: 2012-10-03
Packaged: 2017-11-15 13:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/528006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Susanne/pseuds/Captain_Susanne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It´s Kathryn´s birthday and a little gift seems to change her way of thinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My best friend

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a birthday present written for my dear friend Malezita.   
> She is the one who is responsible that I started to write fanfics.   
> Once more happy birthday sweety :)

I´m alone. It´s the twentieth of May and I´m alone. Alone in my quarters and I´m looking at the beautiful wooden box in my hands.

It had been his present for me. A wonderful ornate oaken box. It is self-made. I love self-made presents. He knows it as he knows everything about me.

I got a lot of presents today. Some extra replicator rations from Harry. “The next coffee breaks are saved Captain.” he said with a boyish smile on his face.

I got a beautiful vulcan orchid from Tuvok., a novel of the Bajoran author Anara Tusk from our Doctor, a big blue birthday cake decorated with candles on the top from Neelix, and a lovely painting from my captain´s assistant. Naomi is so talented. Her painting shows me and my first officer sitting on the bridge. She captured every little detail of the bridge, even Chakotay´s glance towards me.

“Chakotay.”

The thought of him causes me to say his name out loud. Closing my eyes I see his face straight in front of me. He is my first officer. My companion. My best friend. My soulmate. My…I take a deep breath to ignore the next word coming up my mind when I´m thinking of him. I can´t admit it. No I can´t. I open my eyes and look once more at this beautiful wooden box.

“I put all my heart into this and hope you like it, Kathryn.”

While giving me my present some hours ago he had this beautiful dimpled smile on his face. Does he know how much I love his smile? I think he knows it and that´s why he tries to tease me with it at every possible opportunity.

My hands trembled a little bit as I took the small packet out of his hand. “Thank you Chakotay.” My eyes avoided his gaze.

I heard a deep sigh coming up his throat. Was this a sign of pleasure? A sign of expectation or one of disappointment? I will never know. Just at the moment he cleared his throat and started to say something my combadge chirped.

“Torres to Janeway.”

“Janeway here. What is it Lieutenant?”

“Captain, I want to inform you that the new calibration of the containment field is finished.”

“Does everything work within normal parameters?”

“Unfortunately not, Captain. That´s why I´m calling you. We have some problems in maintaining the warp field.”

“Have you checked the antimatter reactor?”

“Twice, Captain.”

The despair in B´Elanna´s voice was evident – she had worked so hard in the last days to upgrade the warp core.

Telling B´Elanna I would help her I looked up at Chakotay and was confronted with a frustrated glance. I felt so sorry for him. Once more I put Voyager´s needs before his…or ours as I admitted to myself.

Heading to the door I put down Chakotay´s present on the desk and realized the box was closed with a little padlock. I looked puzzledly at him but he only smiled and closed the distance between us.

Taking my hands in his, he eyed me with a serious look.

“If you seek the key you know where you can find it. Once more, happy birthday Kathryn.”

Then he left me and I gazed after him feeling again the unshed tears in my eyes.

Now I´m back in my quarters. Fortunately B´Elanna and I were able to resolve the problem with the containment field. Looking out of the viewport and watching the moving stars I sigh. It is my birthday. I ought to be happy but I´m not.

Once more my eyes catch Chakotay´s present. I bend forward and take the wooden box in my hands. It is so beautiful, so unbelievably beautiful. The front side of the box is decorated with a bird flying over a big mountain.

Stroking my fingers over the bird I close my eyes. Sometimes I wish I could fly. Wish I could spread my wings and fly away. Wish I could leave the entire burden behind me and just be Kathryn.

And all of a sudden it hit me. I remember the time when I had been just Kathryn. Remember the time I had been lucky. Remember the time I had been with him.

New Earth. I trembled remembering that place where I was so happy and pleased. All the memories came back. Our shelter, the plasma storm, the monkey, our tomato plants….the bathtub.

A deep sigh escaped my throat and I opened my eyes. Feeling the upcoming tears I buried my face in my hands.

In all those years he has tried to make me happy. Not only with some presents like the bathtub, a rose or the watch. From the first day he gave me strength when I struggled with my self-pity being responsible for becoming stranded here in the Delta Quadrant. He encouraged me to fight to make the dream come true and bring this crew home. And even in my darkest moment when we were stuck in the Void, he was there and gave me comfort, and forced me to look forward.

He never broke his promise. He was always there for me. He was there every time when I needed him most. He is my tower of strength, and the key to my happiness.

I wonder. Everything seems to be so clear now. Looking at my gift I stroke over the ornament again. I close my eyes and realize now what is the most important thing in my life.

He is my first officer. My companion. My best friend. My soulmate. My…love. Finally I can admit it to myself. He is the love of my life. I´m looking up and the sentence…the most important utterance of my life blusters out of my mouth.

“Chakotay I love you.”

Although the sentence was only a whisper in the silence around me, I felt proud. Proud to have said it aloud. A smile covers my lips. I take once more a deep breath and stand up from my couch.

I know where I have to go now. Nothing in my life had been so clear. I wonder why I realized it just in this moment. Maybe I´m ready now. Ready to terminate the parameters which have dictated our lives for more than six years. Ready to make a change.

Yes, I´m ready for a life with him. Finally after all these years I´m ready for Chakotay´s love.


End file.
